I Need Your Love--Is That True?
How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead
The usual advice offered in self-help books and reinforced by our culture advocates a stressful, all-consuming quest for love and approval. We are advised to learn self-marketing and manipulative skills—how to attract, impress, seduce, and often pretend to be something we aren’t. This approach doesn’t work. It leaves millions of walking wounded—those who, having failed to find love or appreciation, blame themselves and conclude that they are unworthy of love.
I Need Your Love—Is That True? helps you illuminate every area in your life where you seem to lack what you long for most—the love of your spouse, the respect of your child, a lover’s tenderness, or the esteem of your boss. Through its penetrating inquiry, you will quickly discover the falseness of the accepted ways of seeking love and approval, and also of the mythology that equates love with need. Using the method in this book, you will inquire into painful beliefs that you’ve based your whole life on—and be delighted to see them evaporate. Katie shows you how unraveling the knots in the search for love, approval, and appreciation brings real love and puts you in charge of your own happiness.
“Everyone agrees that love is wonderful, except when it’s terrible. People spend their whole lives tantalized by love—seeking it, trying to hold on to it, or trying to get over it. Not far behind love, as major preoccupations, come approval and appreciation. From childhood on, most people spend much of their energy in a relentless pursuit of these things, trying out different methods to be noticed, to please, to impress, and to win other people’s love, thinking that’s just the way life is. This effort can become so constant and unquestioned that we barely notice it anymore.
This book takes a close look at what works and what doesn’t in the quest for love and approval. It will help you find a way to be happier in love and more effective in all your relationships. What you learn here will bring fulfillment to all kinds of relationships, including romantic love, dating, marriage, work, and friendship.” —Byron Katie
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Creators
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Publisher
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Release date
April 5, 2005 -
Formats
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Kindle Book
- ISBN: 9780307237866
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OverDrive Read
- ISBN: 9780307237866
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EPUB ebook
- ISBN: 9780307237866
- File size: 476 KB
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Languages
- English
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Reviews
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Publisher's Weekly
February 14, 2005
Katie reintroduces the form of self-questioning called "The Work" that she originally presented in Loving What Is,
but here she tackles relationships—and what spoils them. According to Katie (writing with the help of Katz, who is also her agent), rather than seeking love and approval from others, you need to find them in yourself. What often blocks that love is one's perception of reality: "If you believe your stressful thoughts, your life is filled with stress. But if you question your thoughts, you come to love your life and everyone in it." "The Work" is central to the process of taking a judgmental thought—such as "my partner is supposed to make me happy"—and subjecting it to four powerful questions, such as "Is it true?" and "Who or what would I be without the thought?" Then Katie suggests turning the thought around and considering different options, such as making yourself happy and making your partner happy. Finally, she suggests ways to find love and acceptance in yourself. Katie's chatty style and her use of detailed dialogues and simple exercises will make many readers feel transformation is inevitable. (On sale Mar. 22)
Forecast:
A 15-city author tour should help launch this to the sales levels of
Loving What Is (110,000 copies in cloth and paper). -
Library Journal
March 1, 2005
In this sequel to her best-selling "Loving What Is", Katie continues what she terms "The Work," this time using her four basic questions to help readers challenge their thoughts about relationships. She repeats her premise that nothing can make us unhappy except our own thoughts -i.e., regardless of how bad they might make us feel, our thoughts are not facts. When we finally challenge our thoughts and realize that the approval, love, and appreciation that we seek in our relationships can be found only within ourselves, we can become peaceful, happy, and free. By confronting our thoughts using Katie's questions, our relationships with loved ones, co-workers, friends, and acquaintances can be dramatically improved. This well-written guide includes many real-life examples of individuals and couples doing "The Work" and changing their lives. Highly recommended. -Wendy Lee, Marshall-Lyon Cty. Lib., MNCopyright 2005 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.
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Booklist
February 1, 2005
Katie's first self-help book, " Loving What Is "(2001), was a best-seller. This volume applies her method, called "the Work," and uses it to help readers resolve issues concerning love. The Work consists of asking oneself three questions about a troubling issue and then turning the premise around and asking the opposite questions. Adherents of this technique who read the first book probably don't need this one, since it covers much of the same territory. As before, the text takes the form of dialogues between Katie and those practicing the Work, thus demonstrating how asking the questions and evaluating the answers yield results. For instance, a woman who felt her father didn't love her gains insights about her own attitudes toward him and herself through asking not why didn't he love her but why didn't she love him. This technique seems so simple that it's hard to make a whole book out of it, but like most self-help gurus, Katie, with the aid of coauthor Katz, manages just fine.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2005, American Library Association.)
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Formats
- Kindle Book
- OverDrive Read
- EPUB ebook
Languages
- English
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